The Leader's Code by Donovan Campbell

Overall rating:★★★

‘The Leader Code’ by Donovan Campbell gives an overview of the 6 virtues that all leaders should cultivate: humility, excellence, kindness, discipline, courage, and wisdom. In addition to developing these qualities, the writer suggests, and I think he is right in doing so, to define a mission and become a servant for the people or teams we lead – I personally prefer the term service provider since servant could be so easily misinterpreted.

Donovan Campbell makes a good attempt at explaining the “leader-servant” model as well as the six traits that all leaders should have. The book is full of stories – too many in my opinion – some of them interesting, some of them not so much.

I liked the idea of creating the mission statement and becoming a service provider for others, especially those we are assigned to lead. The six qualities described in the book – humility, excellence, kindness, discipline, courage, and wisdom – are great to have not only if we have the role of leaders. Not much is new in this book; mostly is common sense, but it is good to have a reminder.

Mr. Campbell is part of the Marine Corps. Most of the stories and examples in the book come from the military. This concentration of source makes the book boring for people, like me, who are not part of the military environment, and frankly does not see it as the greatest organization in the world.

‘The Leader Code’ is a good read for someone who is starting his/her path in self-improvement and to learn about leadership. For seasoned readers on the subject of leadership, it may be repetitive, without substance; for the civilians, it may become boring after the third story about war, battle, or military exercise.

This book is available in hardcover and Kindle.

Applicability to real life:★★★

Comprehensibility:★★★★

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love

Overall rating:  ★★★★

This book explains adult attachment theory. According to Amir Levine and Rachel Heller’s, the writers, research there are three types of attachment styles: avoidant, anxious, and secured. Each of these style definitions is intuitive. Avoidant people believe that intimacy is a loss of independence; anxious are usually preoccupied with the relationship and worry about the ability of their partner to love them back; and secure people are the ones that feel responsible for providing happiness and stability to their partners, feel comfortable and seek intimacy, usually are warm and loving, and for the most part do not play games.

For me it was very interesting to know about this theory and these attachment styles. The book addresses how to spot each style in the people we meet and how to not let our own attachment style boycott potential good relationships.

Of course the book does not address all questions. For example, I wondered as I read the book, if attachment styles could vary depending on the partner. In other words, was it possible that partner A behaved avoidant with partner B, and secured with partner C? The writers suggest that our attachment style is mostly stable during our adult life, and at the same time, it is plastic meaning that certain behaviors could be modified or controlled to obtain more satisfaction of current or potential relationships.

The message was clear. I believe this book could be helpful for everyone regardless of gender and relationship status. For people in a stable relationship, knowing about attachment style theory could help understand each other, take things less personal, and mold the bad habits so both partners become satisfied in the relationship. For people who are looking for a partner, attachment theory is very useful to on one hand, spot early on those styles that do not match, and on the other hand to know their own symptoms of either preoccupation, desire to flee, or the need to get close, and use / modify them to their advantage in building a new lasting relationship with the correct partner.

This book is available in paperback and Kindle.

Applicability to real life: ★★★★

Comprehensibility: ★★★★

Give and Take by Adam Grant

Education in the West is geared towards survival, being the strongest, and to take advantage of every opportunity. What happens when someone’s nature is not wired to advance at any cost? Are people whose call is to help and give to the world doomed to always come last?

Adam Grant has a new proposal. In his book Give and Take he describes three main types of people: takers, matchers, and givers. He explains that usually in our personal lives we operate as givers or matchers; however, in our professional environment we normally operate as matchers – i.e. I give/help in the same measure and to the people from whom I receive benefits. 

Adam Grant explains that there is a taboo in the corporate world regarding givers since they are perceived as pushovers and weak. Even givers themselves tend to be in the closet disguised as matchers to survive in the work place.

Give and Take provides a refreshing and a healthy way to come out of the closet and be a giver at full speed without being a softy or weak. Adam Grant explains how givers make everyone around them and themselves successful; they show us that there is a larger pie to be shared and the more we pay it forward the greater this pie becomes.

I greatly liked Give and Take. First, it clearly describes a subject that is mostly talked about behind closed doors. Second, Adam Grant’s proposal offers healthy channels to give and pay it forward. Finally, it has practical guides to avoid becoming weak, spent, and taken advantage of insatiable takers.

As I read the book I asked myself what was my style. I think I am a mix of matcher and giver both in my personal and professional lives. I have an acute sense of justice so if I come across with a taker I would give only once. I learned how to spot takers, other ways to deal with them, and new and more open ways to give without the feeling of being negatively judged.

Some of the phrases that caught my attention:

“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” Samuel Johnson.

“It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.” John Andrew Holmes.

“How do I know who I am until I see what I do? E.M. Forster

This book is available in hardcover and Kindle.

No Excuses by Brian Tracy

This book is powerful, easy to read and to understand (even for those whose English is not their first language) and it has lots of practical advise that can be immediately put in place. I liked the fact that the author explained the power of self-discipline in all aspects of life. Some may find it contradictory (how does self-discipline help you to have the good life?) but after understanding the main concepts, it makes a lot of sense. Regardless of your personal philosophy, it is definitely a book to be read more than once and to be used for consultation.

For the advance self-improvement reader and overachiever, this book may not offer new concepts; however, I found the practical applications helpful and to the point.

This book is available in paperback and Kindle.

The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton

The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton is an essay about all the different feelings and stages of travelers of all kind. As someone who loves to travel I identified my own behaviors as I read this book. Alain de Botton uses the English language beautifully. His prose is clean, simple, full of action, and with the capacity to bring to life the places and characters he describes.

“It was hard to say when exactly winter arrived. The decline was gradual, like that of a person into old age, inconspicuous from day to day until the season became an established, relentless reality” is the beginning of the first of five stages of travel, Departure. My favorite part was ‘On Anticipation’ that speaks on how we anticipate the trip with excitement just to be disappointed because, as the writer puts it, “I had inadvertently brought myself with me to the island.”

To read The Art of Travel is a learning experience. Each of the five stages – Departure, Motives, Landscape, Art, and Return – has a destination (or more than one) and a guide. Alain de Botton flawlessly puts together destination and guide. I not only traveled through the described destination but also through the life of my guide.

This compelling essay is food for thought and reflection on how we travel and how going to other places affect our mind and feelings. We are motivated to reflect during our journeys to other places. As the author puts it “journeys are the midwives of thought.”

This book is available in paperback and Kindle.